Writings

At the beginning of May, Vince Wendling, a 39-year old, Minnesota-born, passionate, peaceful, loving man, said goodbye to his housemates, coworkers, friends, and a cat (not his) named Frank. He put most of his things in storage, sold his car, and slung a backpack into my trunk. I climbed into the passenger side, he took […]

Even When No Matter What   Let yourself be loved. Even when you can’t imagine why, let yourself be loved. Even when you’re completely lost, let yourself be loved. Even when you’ve been a jerk, let yourself be loved. Even when everyone else seems to be doing more or better, let yourself be loved.   […]

When I saw Hamilton for the first time, I was totally struck by the show, as everyone is.  But I was also struck by the contrast of a cast of people color and an audience of white people, like me. In the same moment I felt my heart break, I had an idea. For 15 […]

Last night I was taking to Allan about relationships, labels, and commitment. Allan is a Canadian man I’ve been recently dating. Note to Americans: if you find yourself “dating” a Canadian, you might want to have conversation about what that word means to each of you, to save yourself from an awkward moment. :-) Allan […]

Originally published in Elephant Journal These days I do yoga because it feels like sex. I told this to someone recently who said, “Really? You must not have great sex.” “Maybe,” I admitted, “but could it be that you haven’t had great yoga?” When I say yoga feels like sex, I don’t mean the penetrating, […]

I don’t want to own you. In fact, the first thing I ever loved about you was your un-own-ability. I saw your freedom, your self containment, A profound inner communion. I was attracted right away by what I observed As a beautiful specimen of wholeness. That’s how I imagined you anyway, watching you From afar. […]

In the work of Conscious Leadership, which Sue and I teach at our Leadership Camps, we talk about the value of living in one’s Zone of Genius. The gift and curse of teaching work like this is that it constantly invites deeper alignment with the material we teach. When I find gaps, it can sometimes […]

Every morning, I wake up in a hurry. Why? I don’t have a formal job. I don’t have early morning meetings or traffic to beat. I don’t have kids. I don’t have a dog to walk or cows to milk. I’m not training for a marathon. But when I wake up, no matter what time […]

This year for my birthday, I’m giving myself the perfect gift. I’m giving myself Permission. Here’s what that looks like: Being You. You are allowed to be you. You are allowed as YOU as you are. You are allowed to spend time finding out what that means. You are allowed to experiment. You are allowed […]

Today it occurred to me , the Miracle of Meeting.   I am an American woman, thirty-five years old, born in Denver Colorado, a place you’ve probably never heard of. You are an Indian man,  twenty-six, raised in a small village in Dharmsala, in a town I can’t pronounce. We grew up with different languages, world […]

For many years now, most Sundays, I go dancing. I’ve mostly kept this a private affair. I go by myself, dance my heart out, and leave early before the commingling begins.  One of the three rules of this dance is “No talking on the dance floor” which supports my anonymity. In seven years, I’ve made few acquaintances, […]

Last night a friend told me she worried about my latest post on Shame. She was concerned that I might be exposing a part of myself not ready for so much attention.  I’m glad she outed her concern, because it gave me the chance to explain why I shared what I did.   Recently I’ve […]