Writings

I’m discovering something about Death: It’s a lie.   My dad is with me everyday in so many ways. I suspect he’s responsible when his favorite songs come on the radio. I sense him in any man playing a guitar. I often feel him standing behind me with a reassuring hand on my shoulder. When […]

A friend died today.  He and I were the same age, we’ve been friends since we were fourteen. When he got married less than a year ago, I was a bit disappointed, I’d always had a crush. But he had a beautiful new wife and baby, and as far as I know, he was happy, […]

When You See me cry, Don’t try to stop me    Or fix me    Or change me    Or help me. If you’re moved to hold me Or sit with me, Touch me or hand me a tissue, Do! But don’t worry about me Or assume something is wrong, When you see me cry. […]

Presence  Or, Infinity In a Box I think Presence gets a bad rap.  It isn’t sitting quietly with open attention (except when it is). it isn’t a smile or a nod or a peaceful pose (except when it is). It isn’t gentle or passive, silent or still (except when it is). Presence is WILD As wild […]

Today is my 35th birthday (36 if you count the original) and this year I’m giving myself Happiness. Real happiness, lasting happiness, not just the kind that bounces on trampolines (though that too, of course!) This is the kind that sustains, nourishes, creates, honors. The kind that is friendly, inclusive, honest, real. Actually “giving” myself […]

Whoever says that traveling is glorious and magical and something everyone must do, was not telling the story from the beginning.   Or perhaps they are made of different stuff than I am, like ease and confidence and a perpetual sense of inherent belonging. Perhaps they more easily take risks or they don’t perceive risks […]

There is a famous study in which researchers left kids alone with a marshmallow. If the kids waited to eat their marshmallow until the researcher came back, they would get a second one. Some kids ate the first marshmallow right away. Others waited a minute or two. A few made it to the end. Researchers […]

There’s this thing in nature where animals, deer, ducks, and others, shake after a stressful encounter, relieving the tension that forms during a fight.   Last night after watching the debates, I shook. There’s a baby in my house now, and she cried, unusually distraught. It may be unrelated, but I’m not so sure…   […]

A few weeks ago, my brother took me to get my first Tattoo. As I sat in the chair with my arm extended, he put his hand on my shoulder and said to me, “Pay attention. Nothing else feels quite like this. You’re gonna want to know what it feels like.”   It was great […]

Three months ago, the latch on my brother’s basement door was broken. This wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t for Momo, the cat.   When I visit my brother’s family, I sleep in the basement. In that black abyss, full of computers and machines that whir with deafening white noise, I get the best […]

  Please call me on my shit.  If I hurt you. If I leave you. If I make you feel unseen. If I drop you. If I miss you. If my motives seem unclean.   Please call me on my shit  When I say something that’s rude. Call me out at times you feel run […]

  When I was in first grade, I had a crush on an older boy named Tim, a second grader. Our school had the two grades combined so I had the good fortune of sitting only a few feet away from him every single day.   Each morning before the school day began, we had […]